I make the joke that my name, Sadie, could be thought of as "Sad" and "die," which honestly wasn't a joke a few years ago. That's what I thought. And so I became.
I was sad. And I wanted to die. Sounds dramatic, but it was true.
I was in a deep dark hole mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, and energetically (I call those the 'Fab 5'). Despite having understood the concept of "manifesting your reality" since I was 12, I was in this dark space and SO unaware that I kept consciously creating more of what I didn't want, therefore experiencing more of what I didn't want to experience. This grew very frustrating, as you can imagine; feeling like the world was just a place of suffering, that I HAD to do what I HAD to do, that there was no escape. Life was constantly out to get me.
I ended up taking a beautiful & necessary step back from this life I was creating a few years ago and after a few personally debilitating experiences, including a major concussion that literally rocked both my brain & my world, life pushed me to start all over again.
I decided to go on a little journey with myself.
I didn’t know what to expect, as this journey, like any others worth traveling, presented its own twists & turns.
I met incredible people.
I had life-altering experiences, one after another.
I made it a point to learn.
To awaken myself, before setting out to awaken humanity.
And this journey, as any other, continues to unfold, moment by moment…
What Does Affirmism have to do with My Journey?
I was introduced to affirmations through my sister who met the queen of affirmations herself, Louise Hay, a few years prior to embarking on this journey. At that time, my sister encouraged me to read Ms. Hay's books and to start practicing some of her exercises. I was resistant to the support AND found it INSANELY uncomfortable just to tell myself I looked beautiful and that I loved myself. Attempting that in front of a mirror took it to a WHOLE new level of uncomfortability.
I continued to push through the resistance because for some reason, in some way, it just felt good to say nice things to and about myself, rather than all the critical, harsh, and judgmental thoughts I was used to experiencing on repeat.
I took these practices a few steps further after discovering additional people and companies in this space. I practiced reading affirmations out of a book, on a screen, and listening to others say them out loud.
And something magical started to happen: a beautiful shift.
While playing with all these newfound possibilities in my mind, I had the thought to record MYSELF saying specific affirmations out loud that I had written JUST for me. It was definitely a wake up call to hear the way in which I spoke out loud. The energy I was emitting through my voice, representing the energy I was emitting in all other regards, was dull and sad. How much I despised my voice further showed me how much I didn't love myself and how much I didn't love what I was giving out to the universe. After all, our voices are one of our most powerful tools of communication and expression of self on this planet. If we can't love our voice, can we love anything else about ourselves?
I continued to record myself many times, each one getting closer to the energy I wanted to create in the world. If you've ever heard the term, "fake it 'till you make it," that was me. I felt foolish trying to sound more excited, joyful, and happy than I really felt inside, yet my experience of listening to that recording day after day was metamorphic.
Speaking to and listening to myself was deeply impactful, supporting me in clearing my life of all kinds of toxins—emotional, mental, physical, energetic, & spiritual. Toxins I had gathered from great pain and deep lows, all from which I had previously lost belief in surviving.
This new practice became a commitment.
To my mind.
To my strength.
To support myself, rather than break myself.
The Present of Presence
Now, still, I am on a continuous journey to uncover beautiful, broken pieces of myself that I am integrating into this beautiful mosaic called Sadie.
I drink clean water, I eat clean food, I think clean thoughts, I bask in clean energy, I express clean emotion, and I am clean in spirit. I accept my mistakes. I love my imperfections. And I celebrate my humanness.
Every time I break, I build.
“Shifting out of the sh**” has become a daily practice. A strengthening exercise.
One in which I affirm I am getting better and better at every day.
One in which I love supporting others in practicing daily. Because you can, too.
I had been simmering in a Sad Sadie Stew for far too long—most of my life actually. Stuck in Negative Nancy Nonesense, hopeless and despairing. Now here I am, finding myself constantly shifting; tuning to Positive Pumbaa PARADISE.
The change has been palpable. When walking around, I am present. I notice my natural and immediate thoughts about something, anything. And they’re just different. They are positive. They are loving. They are joyful.
I went on this journey to discover something. And I did.
I discovered what it meant to love again.
To love myself in order to love others.
For we can only give to others that which we carry ourselves.
We are all capable of feeling good.
We are all capable of creating a world of possibility, prosperity, and peace.
We are all in this together, for when we come together, together we are one.
Healer heal thyself.
Are you choosing the life you want? Or are you letting life choose you?
It’s time to shift.
For when you shift your thoughts,
You shift your life.
Are you ready to shift yours?